Chronicles of Harkle

The 2023 Fall Of House Sussex

a man wearing knitted hoodie jacket standing on the street while doing face palm

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are suffering from… a lot of stuff. 2023 was horrible for them. Sure, the prince’s moaning biography, Spare, became a bestseller, but it also tells us that he’s not done trashing his family. Their stroke of bad luck has seen them spiral with the release of the South Park episode, Worldwide Privacy Tour, which mocks their cries for privacy while advertising their victimhood.

Meanwhile, Harry has been in court several times this year and made a total fool of himself, believing his title as a prince is evidence enough to get him a win. He has so many cases going on simultaneously that it’s hard to track which ones are which. 

Then, we get to Meghan, who turns what are supposed to be golden opportunities into a pile of turds. She appeared in an Instagram ad for Clevr Blends, the vegan coffee brand she started investing and the whole advert was about her cameo. She was in every single shot. Also, her fist bump was terrible.

So many things were horrible about the Sussexes’ fall from grace this year, but one thing that takes the cake is their constant swipes at King Charles and Catherine, the Princess of Wales. What have they ever done to them? Harry made petty comments in Spare about how his father would joke about his paternity and then “take his nose” when he was a child.

Harry is one of the biggest half-wits ever to walk the Earth in the 21st Century. He’s a father (supposedly). Doesn’t he realise that his slights with his own father are carrying over with his children? Also, what parent doesn’t play ”got your nose” with their child at some point? The Duke of Sussex talks a lot about the “genetic pain” that was inflicted upon him by his family. However, does he realise he is doing the same to Archie and Lili?

Meghan is making him believe he is a better father than Charles. However, she has no right to judge because she cut off her dad for doing the same thing she was doing with the paparazzi.

The Sussexes have gone back and forth on the racism narrative, and it’s gotten to the point where people are thinking, “Which is it? Who said what? Talking about a mixed-race child’s skin colour is not racism!” Here’s the thing. Meghan and Harry are the true racists.

Harry made those racist comments while he was in the army. Then, there was the comment about his then-girlfriend, Chelsy Davy, “Not being black or anything” because she was from South Africa. 

Then, we have Meghan. For a woman of mixed-race heritage, Meghan Markle is a racist towards people who are both black and caucasian. She kissed her own thumb instead of a little black girl’s hand. She also excluded all her black and white family except her mother from her wedding. Why? Because she didn’t want them to spill the truth to Harry and the royal family. Meghan exposed herself one too many times. As Brittany of the Royal News Network said in her pre-Christmas livestream, the British royals saw through much of her BS from the beginning. They were wary of her. We’ve heard countless stories about multiple people warning him against marrying Markle.

Omid Scobie also helped bring about Harry and Meghan’s downfall in 2023. He thought that trashing the entire royal family as “horrible people” in his book Endgame would make people see the Sussexes as the victims. However, after TranslationGate, where he blamed the Dutch translator for revealing Charles and Catherine were the “royal racists”, his reputation became mud even more than it was before. Oh, and there is no way she, who mustn’t be named, is Nigerian with her track record of changing aspects of her life.

Anyone with a brain knows that Scobie is a mouthpiece for Harry and Meghan. He can deny it all he wants. He only criticises the royals and praises the Sussexes for doing the same thing. We’re too tired even to compare his hypocrisies anymore. Meghan’s court case against The Mail on Sunday over her dad’s letter might’ve been a win, per se, but it was also a failure. It exposed Meghan, Harry and Omid to be liars.

The court case was a few years ago but confirmed what many people already knew. If that weren’t enough, Meghan’s jealousy of the Waleses (not the other way around like Harry said on Oprah) makes her attempts to overshadow them even more lame. Why? Because everyone (except Harry, Omid and their derangers) can see through the act.

2023 also unearthed some of the past misdeeds conducted by Prince Harry and Meghan. Remember their trip to Harlem, New York, where the former actress dressed like Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker? Well, we also learn that the outlandish pair demanded the Harlem school buy new decor that fit Markle’s liking. New pillows and carpet. The couple were insensitive to the fact that the children who attended the school were below the poverty line. They also Meanwhile, they were sitting pretty in the 1% of America who were wealthy. Meghan also has a new groupie, Jennifer Su.

On Project Fangirl, we did a poll asking when people realised that Meghan would be in trouble. We also addressed a few things in our editor’s note on Meghan’s alleged faked pregnancy. We also reviewed Markle’s alleged reaction to Catherine, Princess of Wales’ gold dress at the James Bond premiere a few years back. Also, we want to know why the media is only picking up on the Sussexes’ lousy behaviour now.

Prince Harry and Meghan write their own satire pieces. For example, we wrote one about Harry’s security demands. Not to mention, they underestimated how popular the royal family is. Perhaps the pair should have looked back at the Vegas Romp.

2024 isn’t going to be any better for them.

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About Author

C.J. Hawkings has written for the now-defunct Entertainment website, Movie Pilot and the still functioning WhatCulture and ScreenRant. She prides herself as a truth seeker and will do (almost) anything for coffee or Coke No Sugar. Oh! And food!

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