Childhood is one of the pivotal times in a child’s life. This is where they’re more likely to see domestic violence. At this stage in their development, their minds are malleable, and they may think this behaviour is normal. However, it depends on how they’re being raised. If they see one parent raise a hand against another frequently, they may believe it is a regular, everyday occurrence that happens to everyone.
Respect also begins at home. Parents should teach their children that violence is never the answer. should treat everyone, and yes, those of the opposite sex, with the courtesy they would want for themselves.
When you look at domestic violence cases involving children, you can often see that the situation affects them, too, not just the overall victim. This is called family violence, as it affects everyone within a household.
While some children know violence when they see it, others may see it as a norm. One example of a child understanding what they see is the slain Baxter children, Aaliyah, Laianah and Trey. They all saw how their father, Rowan Baxter, treated their mother, Hannah Clarke. The eldest, Aaliyah, despite her age, could see what her dad was doing was wrong and would always stand up to him.
Childhood Exposure To Domestic Violence Can Be Traumatic
The children became petrified of their father, and having to live with him, even temporarily, caused them anxiety. Hannah left Rowan mainly because of the kids. However, the Hannah’s Story Podcast revealed that she wanted to leave her husband after Laianah was born. However, she found out she was pregnant with Trey. She knew that Baxter would never let her go as she had given him a son.
Spartan’s goal is to highlight that men can be victims of domestic violence and that some unstable women can be out there. Still, the Baxter family murders are a prime example of how children can be affected by one positive parent.
Having a woman emasculate a man is uncommon but not unheard of. A story from the New Zealand Herald told the tale of a woman abusing her husband. Why? He was in the bathroom before her. The article also notes that while domestic partners abuse women more than men, there is more that the public isn’t seeing. The story doesn’t mention anything about children, but if there were, it is hard to tell what the aftermath would be if kids were involved.
A Common Stereotype
A common stereotype says men cannot be domestic violence victims. As the above story dictates, this is untrue, and plenty of documented examples exist. One well-known example is Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. No children were involved in this instance, but Heard had a long history of domestic violence against other partners.
In New South Wales, there is a page on the Police NSW website that talks about Domestic Violence and children. It mentions that while some kids are brave and try to break up the fighting between the adults, they are often injured. It may even lead them to think that hurting people is okay.
As revealed during the Inquest into the Baxter Family murders, Rowan Baxter’s father sexually abused his daughters, Rowan’s sisters. In turn, Rowan thought it was okay to abuse women. This was evident in interviews with people who knew Hannah and Rowan.
One of the women in the Baxter family who spoke out was one of Baxter’s estranged cousins, Sandra Taylor, who said that Rowan had been part of a long line of men who thought of women as prostitutes and house cleaners. She became a target to Rowan after reaching out to Hannah to show support.
Stopping Domestic Violence Indicators In Childhood
How children are raised is the key to stopping domestic violence. If kids are taught, respect is universal to everyone, regardless of gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, or whatever it might be. There is a less likely chance they will become domestic violence abusers.
However, the parents themselves have to be brought up well or have some semblance of goodness to have the same qualities in their children. As Sandra mentioned in the video linked above, kids need to be taught from preschool age that domestic violence or violence is not okay.
Of the Baxter parents, Hannah taught the kids that it was not okay to hurt people. Her stepson, Isaiah, was prepared with the same qualities as his mother as he came out and said that his father was abusive towards him and his mum.
Isaiah broke the Baxter family cycle of abuse. Trey could have been the same if he had lived. No child should think they’re worthless or that what one of their parents does to another is okay. Every kid has a right to feel loved and safe and should never be subjected to being the pawn in any adult’s sick game to undermine another.
In conclusion, There needs to be more talk about respect with children of all ages in a way they’ll understand. It could come in the form of fun videos in various mediums. It could be books with fun characters but done educationally.
