Meghan Markle is obsessed with beige. Oh, wait. Didn’t she say she was FORCED to wear beige by the royals? Oh, wait. She wore colour a ton. Okay, we’re off-topic. The blog gods have blessed us (fortunately!) with the former actress and royal’s new lifestyle website, American Riviera Orchard.
Oh. My. Go– You know what? It’s not even worth it. Meghan has learned nothing. She doesn’t know how to market anything. The name is a mouthful. Kudos to Royal News Network for pointing that one out. It doesn’t even mean anything to her, specifically.
Meghan Doesn’t Even Know What American Riviera Orchard Is
The name is usually specific to the creator when a brand is created. Goop, for example, is Gwyneth Paltrow’s initials with two Os in-between. She explained in an interview once that she was told brands with two Os became super successful. Google anyone?
Goop is super successful despite its somewhat controversial products. Vagina scented candles. Jaded eggs for up there. You name it, though it is worth millions. Meghan has tried to copy this method before with The Tig. She even attempted to do this with Sussex Royal before The Queen stopped it as you’re not supposed to capitalise off being a royal.
The trademark application for Sussex Royal said they wanted to merch stationery and tea towels. Talk about tacky. I love stationary, but selling pens that say that are not on. American Riviera’s trademark application says it’s more of a homewares brand. It will have glassware, kitchen linen, glassware, that type of thing.
Creating A Stereotype
Meghan has no idea that she is creating a stereotype. In the video uploaded to the Instastories of the Instagram account (yes, Megsy is back on Insta), there’s a lot of nothing that tells us what the brand will be about. Flower shuffling. Meghan in the kitchen with a ton of stuff on the counter (merching!). A long distance wide-shot of Meghan in a black halter neck frufru ball gown. Not the Jamaica body suit- skirt combo as everyone thought.
The name American Riviera Orchard doesn’t make anyone think of homewares. It sounds like a fruit orchard or a winery. Meghan has always been horrible at matching her brands to what the name is. No one even knew what The Tig was until she had to explain that she had named the website after her favourite wine Tiganello. Ah-huh moment, anyone?
Uninspiring
You would never have known what American Riviera Orchard was about unless you looked up the trademark application or the exclusive in People magazine. Also, as Real Housewives Recaps mentions, why is the footage super blurry?
There is a website too, americanriviera.com which only has a landing page and an email box. We did not sign up and do we want to. Though, we will be checking it out whenever stuff drops. We’re following the Instagram, so when stuff drops, we’ll know about it. Finally, be on the look out for another post where we’ll be going over questions about certain things we’ve seen pop up on the new brand.
